The seeming obstacles in changing life

When I was a child, a couple with their two children lived in our neighbourhood. The wife was a victim of domestic violence. Every day the husband argued over something or the other and thrashed her wife. Sometimes she had a bleeding face, sometimes swollen body or a sometimes broken arm. She screamed and wailed for help, but nothing changed. Frustrated with the violence, she often took off to her parent’s home in the pursuit to forget everything and start anew. However, it never worked for her. After every few months, she returned to her husband’s home, where it used to start well but ended in the same, violent story. When she thought she could not take it anymore, she ended her life!

अगर आप यह ब्लॉग हिंदी में पढ़ना चाहते हैं, तो यहाँ क्लिक करें ।

She could have left her husband and started a new life. But why couldn’t she do it? She knew her husband would never change, and so, it was her who could have taken a different path and made a better future for herself. Why couldn’t she break the cycle of adversity and pain?

We can address this question by understanding what really ‘change’ is. How do individuals perceive it? Why is it so difficult to transform our lives? Is it so tough to change, understanding it is needed to survive? These are some essential questions we would further be dwelling upon.

1. The primary obstacle that I feel people usually face in understanding ‘change’ is their preconceived notions regarding ‘change.’ Since our childhood, we taught that change doesn’t happen effortlessly, takes a lot of time, and one has to strive hard to make it happen. One must believe that bringing innovation is not a difficult task.

2. Often people tend to keep their problems alive as it gives them a sense of being unusual and vital. They think their problems and the sadness surrounding it are what make them stand different in the crowd. Some of them may project their issues to be unsolvable, and they have given up on hope to solve it. One must identify if they are continually cribbing about their problems and deriving pleasure in doing so and whether it has become a habit as well.

3. Sometimes we fail to change because we perceive our problem to be permanent, and with that perception with stop addressing it, which makes it further challenging to solve. This eventuality converts into our identity. One must understand that no problem is permanent, and it only requires a change in perception to solve the problem.

4. There may be cases wherein an attempt to solve a problem may lead to a bunch of other issues. In such a case, the challenges one started which remain unsolved, and a new set of difficulties join the prevailing situation.

One has to contemplate whether our solutions are giving birth to new problems or not.

Four beliefs that must not be ignored while attempting to bring change, 

1. One must believe that bringing change is not a difficult task

2. One must identify if they are continually cribbing about their problems and deriving pleasure in doing so

3. One must understand that no problem is permanent

4. One has to contemplate whether our solutions are giving birth to new challenges or not

Hope you enjoyed reading this blog! Do share it with your near & dear ones. Let’s meet at the next Blog. Till then…….

‘Enjoy Your Life & Live with Passion!’

(This blog is originally written in Hindi by the Master Trainer Sandip Shirsat and later translated in English by Zeba Ali, an NLP Practitioner & a psychology professor.)

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Summary:

How to transform our lives for a positive outcome?

There are so many questions asked frequently about NLP & NLP Training like, 

I think all of the questions mentioned above are answered in this blog. NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

Here we saw the fundamentals of psychological change in individuals. Change seems so tricky because people feel that they are the victim of society or the situation around them. We saw some fundamentals behind every change.

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